Tuesday, October 27, 2009

Phils-Yanks Position-By-Position

I. Am. Pumped. Tomorrow night it is on, Phils fans. Phils-Yankees for all the marbles. For the Phillies, a chance to make history, a chance to talk dynasty, a chance to say ‘Fuck you, New York’ and not direct our hatred towards those fruits in Flushing. It’s almost here…one more day until the beginning of the end for the Yankees, one more day until the Phillies make their triumphant defense of the world title. Back-to-back…I can feel it!

Here are our thoughts on the position-by-position matchups for the 2009 World Series:


Ryan Howard .355 2 HR 14RBI

Mark Teixeira .205 1 HR 5 RBI

Advantage: Phils. Teixeira had a great regular season, but hasn’t done shit in the postseason. Howard, on the other hand, cannot be stopped. Dude has been a beast all postseason.


Chase Utley .303 1 HR 2 RBI

Robinson Cano .229 0 HR 5 RBI

Advantage: Phils. Utley is the best in the game, hands down, and to even consider taking Cano over him would be sacrilegious. Eskin, you jerk off.


Pedro Feliz .161 1 HR 2 RBI

Alex Rodriguez .438 5 HR 12 RBI

Advantage: Yanks. Whatever. Steroids.


Carlos Ruiz .346 1 HR 7 RBI

Jorge Posada .258 2 HR 3 RBI

Advantage: Phils. Chooch has continued his postseason dominance at the plate throughout ‘09. Posada is fine, but he can kiss my ass. This is the strangest website I may have ever seen.


Jimmy Rollins .244 0 HR 3 RBI

Derek Jeter .297 3 HR 5 RBI

Advantage: Yanks. This is a tough one. Jeter is one of the best ever, and I just punched myself in the nuts for taking him over one of the best Phils ever, but I have to go that way. I was tempted to call this matchup a Push, but I’ll go with Jeter because of his credentials – and because I want to nail his girlfriend.


Raul Ibanez .226 1 HR 9 RBI

Johnny Damon .238 2 HR 5 RBI

Advantage: Push. If I had a gun to my head I’d take Ibanez, but neither LF’er has been setting the world on fire in the postseason. Ibanez’s 9 RBI’s are impressive, though.


Shane Victorino .361 3 HR 7 RBI

Melky Cabrera .314 0 HR 4 RBI

Advantage: Phils. Why the NY Post would dare tempt Victo while he is so hot at the plate is beyond me. Dopey fucking New Yorkers - they’ll get what’s coming to them.


Jayson Werth .281 5 HR 10 RBI

Nick Swisher .125 0 HR 1 RBI

Advantage: Phils. Just looking at Nick Swisher makes me want to knock his fucking teeth out. Plus he sucks.



  1. Namesake your forgetting the key position of starting pitching/bullpen.... or perhaps you didn't.

  2. Catcher needs to be a push. Chooch has been playing really well, but I think Posada is good too.

    LF should be advantage Phillies because, let me honest, Johnny Damon sucks.

    HOWEVER, if you want to include Benny "The Jet" Franscisco as LF for the four games in NY, then I think LF should be a push. If that is the case, then Ibanez will dominate anyone who is plays DH for the Yanks.

    Did I hear that Eric Hinske could be used as a DH or in the field throughout the World Series? That can't be right, can it?

    As for SS, I personally think it's a push, but I think its a bias opinion on my part. I'll take the Advantage Yanks.

  3. Posada won't even play every game in the series. Molina will start when Burnett pitches, at least.

    I was really trying not to be too biased. Johnny Damon does suck.

  4. Phillies are better at 1B, 2B, SS, C, LF, CF, RF

    Yankees are better at 3B, RP, SP