Monday, January 4, 2010
Rant from R.H.
Sons of Reid,
What an atrocious, heartless effort. Thank God I had beer close by. Obviously the Birds were in for a tough game, and I thought Dallas would probably win, but I never thought they'd lose like that. I think the Birds can definitely win next week. The way all the pundits see it, they might as well not even show up on Sat. We'll see. Plus, Reid didn't play Vick yesterday because he was saving him to unveil the Pit Bull offense next week. They're keeping Vick caged and will prod and tease him all week so he will come out fighting mad.
But maybe that shit-show was a good thing long-term. If they win yesterday, the Birds pretty much assured themselves of being back in the NFC Championship Game, which as we all know, is good enough for this ownership. Now it will be really tough for them to get there, which will hopefully lead to some change around here finally. Of course, Reid will be back for the next 4 years (shake my head in disgusted disbelief every time I think about it). Yesterday's performace by McNabb hopefully underlines the writing on the wall that he's Dead Man Walking (nonchalantly up to the line of scrimmage in a 2-minute drill). Don't get me wrong, Reid should go to, but McNabb has run his course here. The fumbled snap, albeit a little low, was his fault. Missed a wipe open Jackson early. But he's a great "deep thrower"! Receivers were far from innocent though--way too many drops. That pass to Maclin should've been caught, but how bout hitting a guy in stride once in a while? (Also, Maclin completely bailed Donny out last week with that great catch on the sidelines to set up the game winning kick). Gimme an accurate guy with a smaller arm anyday. Then wise, old McNabb has the gall to say this afterward:
"We showed our youth in situations where everyone would look around to see who was going to make the play instead of stepping up and making a play," McNabb said. "That's something that comes with the territory when you have young players."
In other words, "Hey, this wasn't my fault, blame everyone else" (then he chest-bumped Derrick Gunn as Rendell recited stats from a piece of paper).
79 people are now laying under a bus. Give me an F'n break, pal. I guess you showed you veteran poise when you, for the 798th time in your 10 year career, ran a 2-minute drill with all the urgency of passing wind on a hammock. You don't say that in the last game of the season after you've won 6 in a row. What does he want now? Veteran weapons?? I thought we went down that road before and it didn't, um, work out. As far as "everyone would look around to see who was going to make the play", how bout taking charge of your damn huddle for once in your life? Jesus, I'm done with him.
Look at the 12 playoff QB's. Other than the rookie Dirty Sanchez, and (maybe) Carson Palmer, I wouldn't put McNabb over any of them (and I loathe Favre).
Now onto the Fat Man, staring at his laminated I-Hop menu as the game passes him by. When Wade Phillips beats you like that, you know you've got issues. That timeout early in the second quarter before the punt because they couldn't get guys on/off the field was a disgrace. You almost welcome a 5 yard penalty there to give your (shitty) punter more room. Afterwards Reid said the timeout there was "necessary". Don't blow smoke up my ass! They basically traded 5 meaningless yards for a timeout that they could've obviously used at the end of the half, when time ran out as they inexplicable ran plays in the middle of the field. F'n Groundhog Day. If it was so "necessary", then why was Reid yelling at the special teams coach right after timeout?? Which is it?? Reid hasn't looked that mad since they removed creamed chip beef from the pregame meal menu.
Then, on 4th and 2 down 17-0 at the Dallas 35, he has Akers (who he's usually very hesitant about sending out there for anything over 45 yards or so) try to boom a 53 yarder. When it's 3rd and 2, you draw up two running plays there. Stop making it more difficult than it has to be. Shithead. We won't even get into how he went for it on 4th down from his OWN 30 against SF two weeks earlier. He's not even consistently dumb. He keeps finding new, contradictory ways to look stupid. And I know they got behind early, but take away 3 runs by McNabb and Jackson, and they ran the ball 7 times yesterday. When do pitchers and catchers report?
The defense was awful too. They can't get any pressure except for Trent Cole, who teams obviously know to double-team. Juqua Parker? Darren Howard? Mind-numbingly mediocre guys. Gocong might be a decent pass rusher, but we'll never know because for some reason they tried to make him into an NFL linebacker even though he never played it in college, where he set a Division 1-AA records for sacks. Make sense to everyone? Ok good.
Bunkley and Patterson are overrated. Being morbidly obese doesn't automatically make you a good d-tackle. And poor Trotter should be led out to pasture and put down. I've seen faster guys on The Biggest Loser (not that I watch that show. My wife does. I'm serious!! I'm not being defensive!! How dare you!).
I don't know, Asante Samuel gambles way too much for my liking. Sure, he'll make a flashy pick once in a while, but it seems to hurt him more often than not. And he tackles like a pussy. Speaking of which, it's about time this Sean McDermott character takes some heat. I was skeptical to begin with....a red-haired guy from LaSalle high school?? Pansy. Since they can't get pressure at all, they have to blitz, and any good QB knows when it's coming and will pick them apart (Romo yesterday, Warner in the NFC championship). The lone bright spot was my stepbrother Joselio's INT.
Too many dumb penalties as well. Although I thought that personal foul when the guy touched Romo's helmet was a disgrace. That's a penalty??
Buck and Aikman could barely contain themselves yesterday. I'm sure they'll be doing the game next week too, so they can stay in their Dallas hotel room all week and make sweet love to each other. We probably would've put on Merril Reese, but he was probably busy making his laundry list of excuses (handed to him by Banner) as Mike Quick was off-mic feverishly practicing how to pronounce "Abiamiri". Too many in-game advertisements on the radio too, it's so annoying. "That botched two-minute drill was brought to you by Chapman Ford!!"
Dallas was doing alot of celebrating and woofing for a team with a rematch next week. Goddamn maggots. Even Wade Phillips was waving a lasso at the end (Buddy would've punched him in the gut at midfield after the game). I haven't seen a hick that happy since I was standing in the midst of thousands of them at the Temple-Kansas game on Saturday. Freaks. Bad times. Don't get me started. And where's a terrorist bomber to walk into Jerry Jones suite when we need one?
How bout the Giants laying down the last two weeks? Inspired bunch. Now please bulldoze the Meadowlands. Preferably when it's full.
Besides Eagles-Cowboys, Pats-Ravens should be a really good one next week. So pissed that Welker is out. I hate to say it, but Miles Austin is kind of like a black Welker..... wait a minute....I call Black Welkers as my fantasy team name next year!
(Pic via 700level)